#NetflixandChill? No. #BeBoldEnoughToSayWhatYouWant.

Lately, I’ve noticed the term “Netflix and Chill” being used often on the internet. At first, I didn’t think much of it. I mean who doesn’t love watching Netflix and/or chilling at home, relaxed and comfortable? Only later I started realizing  that there was an odd nuance to the way the phrase was thrown around on various social media platforms. So I searched what it means. Urban dictionary defines “Netflix and Chill” as “ going over to your partner’s house and *have intimate relations, with Netflix in the background.”

Just as 1+1 does not always equal to 2,  when two words are combined, the combination does not always leave the trace of both words. For example, Black + Widow = is not a widow who is black, but  a species of deadly spider. Or a song by Iggy that dominated the radios for a while, whichever one you prefer. This is perfectly fine, right?

Except it’s not.

I think this phenomenon actually captures very well the sentiment of people nowadays, the sentiment which I consider quite unfortunate. It seems like nobody wants to take responsibility for their own actions nowadays. That is why the anonymous comments are often the cruelest, the most hateful and hurtful. When no one can judge you for what you have said, or even impose punishment (if such action was to be taken in response to what has been said or written), it’s so easy to just say whatever comes to your mind, without thinking how it will affect someone else, the rest of the world, or even.. you. That is why there are so many people who are just “hanging out”. Not all, but many hide behind the undefined nature of the relationship that takes away the responsibility and the risk of a heartache. That is why there are so many who say “Oh, I didn’t study at all for that test and that’s why I got such bad grades.” It will be so much easier and more comfortable to rely on the endless possibilities than to face the reality that you may not be as prepared or capable as you thought you would be for that test.

So it’s easier to say “Netflix and Chill” and just see if something happens. So it’s easier to throw around a term that seems fairly harmless. Because if you seriously communicated how you feel and what you want, and was shut down, it will definitely hurt more. Because you’ll feel unsure of yourself when you’ve put yourself out there and didn’t get what you want.

But, at least you’ve tried. Lots of great things come with sacrifice, and so does love. In the end, wouldn’t you want someone to be bold enough to tell you how they feel or what they want, someone who appreciates you enough to risk something? Isn’t that the type of people you want to be with? Someone who can be responsible, because in the future, you might end up putting your time, energy, mind, body, heart and soul in their hands; wouldn’t you want them to be responsible for guarding and protecting them too? And don’t YOU want to get something that’s worth fighting for, worth the risk as well?

So, please, stop ruining two of my favorite words in the English language, and step out. You deserve better. We all deserve better.

Written by: Jess (Ye Seul) Kim 


Featured image via.

*Editor's note: The Urban Dictionary definition has been adapted 
to a more formal language. 



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